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Should You Waste Time Feeling Hurt If You're Young And Lonely?

Loneliness has been a scourge for many decades. It hurts people that are vulnerable. But the key to healthy relationships is to remain open.

Photo of author Nicolas Sursock
Written by Nicolas Sursock Dec 23, 2021 at 16:25 •
Relationships
Culture
Society
Environment
Love

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It's hard to keep an open heart when even friends seem out to harm you. Indeed, this line from "November Rain" by Guns N' Roses must have resonated so well with millions of people.

I just checked the YouTube video and discovered it had 1,784,918,209 views, 6m likes, and 300k comments. So as you can see, this topic is quite a popular one. I was surprised to discover how popular it was.

I'm 41 years old, and I'm going to share how I dealt with feelings of isolation when I was young. I think we've all been there: finding a quality friend does not happen every day.

I recently told with sang-froid a nonchalant childhood friend to fuck off and remove me from his debilitating friend list. So it comes, and it goes: how long it's going to last? Nobody knows!

Are You Amazed By Where You Got That Cold Heart?

When I was young, transitioning from childhood to adulthood was challenging, and everyone had difficulty adjusting. That's why Jimi Hendrix once wrote that a girl had been "riding broomsticks since she was 15".

Adolescence can be a period of severity and cruelty and leave dangerous scars throughout life. If you base your worldview on what happens at that time, you will be frozen for the rest of your life.

That's why it's essential to remain open: there's much more to life than what you see. A good friend can indeed make you see plenty of things. But you have to spend time investing in yourself.

Life is a competition, and you have to be ready when happiness knocks on your door: quality time with beautiful friends. If you're having trouble, you can spend time with your family if you have the chance to have siblings.

Better Be Alone And Unescorted Than With Stupid People?

There's another point I would like to stress when facing loneliness: are you sure you do not think everyone is foolish? Maybe you prefer going solo than having to face insane conversations about what recent movies everybody has seen.

Life is also negotiation, and the basis of bargaining is to be demanding. Are you sure you're not so testing as to become ridiculous? Everybody has their problems and what makes life enjoyable is the company. Who was there for you in your darkest times?

You have to remain open and evaluate what you're asking from a friend. Ask too much, and you will look like a fool but ask not enough, and you will look like a weak person.

Now's the time to be strong: get busy and let life do the work!

Is True And Deep Friendship That Hard To Find?

From my own sapient experience, I can tell you that "fluctuat nec mergitur." In modern French, Fluctuat nec mergitur translates to "He/she is rocked by waves, and/but does not sink." A motto that vividly suggests resilience, courage, and inner strength.

When you find friends with potential, they suddenly break your heart, telling you all good things must end. But, of course, sometimes they don't say it to your face and give you the silent treatment.

But if you play your part right, you will meet many people and hang out with them and get to know them better.

When I was young, I had three friends and a family of ten cousins I loved. Then, when I was 20, I found four music lovers with whom I founded a band. Now I'm 41 years old, and I have 1600 friends, some I know well and others that I will get to know.

Don't underestimate the power of openness and friends of friends.

An Open Face Along The Strait Of Fear And Desire?

All in all, remaining open is the key to forming new meaningful relationships. Led Zeppelin sang it in their song "Kashmir." And Madonna confirms that "you're frozen when your heart is not open."

Periodically, I stare at the palm of my hands where the heart transpires. What the head makes cloudy, the heart makes very clear: I'm still thinking about how a friend did me wrong and whether I should retaliate or not.

Jesus taught us the importance of forgiving even though it seems the hardest thing to do. But don't mess up with the next person you will meet: try to be open. For example, I thought I had a good level of English. However, while writing a novel, I discovered I was below average regarding vocabulary.

The true courage would be to question yourself as humans did for thousands of years. Sometimes being open means suffering, but it's the key to forming new relationships and maintaining existing ones.

[Verse 1]
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be?
You're frozen when your heart's not open
You're so consumed with how much you get
You waste your time with hate and regret
You're broken when your heart's not open

[Chorus]
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

[Verse 2]
Now there's no point in placing the blame
And you should know I suffer the same
If I lose you, my heart will be broken
Love is a bird, she needs to fly
Let all the hurt inside of you die
You're frozen when your heart's not open

[Chorus]
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key


[Verse 3]
You only see what your eyes want to see
How can life be what you want it to be?
You're frozen when your heart's not open

[Chorus]
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key
If I could melt your heart
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me
Mmmmmm, you hold the key

[Outro]
If I could melt your heart
(1364 words)
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Photo of author Nicolas Sursock
Written by Nicolas Sursock

Nicolas Sursock is a seasoned web developer, accomplished musician, and dedicated blogger, currently channeling his expertise into the meticulous curation and analysis of over 15,000 songs spanning jazz, blues, soul, rock, funk, and electronic genres. A skilled guitarist, Nicolas seamlessly blends his technical acumen with artistic expression, leaving an indelible mark on the digital and musical landscapes.

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